A Funny
So this guy goes to his doctor...
"Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..."
"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me."
The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE."
"I don't know, doc, she's awfully cold..."
"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"
"Um, okay."
The guy expresses gratitude and leaves for home, where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. The man hastily pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill.
And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then inspiration strikes, he drops one pill into his own coffee.
His wife returns with the shortcake and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look comes over her. In a near-whisper and a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I...need...a man"
His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me...too..."
~~~
Welpers, I'm back. We had a nice time, mostly. We saw a lot of California sights, including San Francisco and LOTS of coastline! We even had sex a couple of times! I learned some more things about myself, though. We had a couple of fights and I realized during introspection that I cause these fights because I'm retarded. I am constantly NOT saying what I want and then getting mad because I don't get what I want. A good example is not saying, "I want to eat HERE, not fast food, this morning". Instead, I go along and then get upset. I don't know why I do this. I make decisions all the time and for the most part he's cool with what I want, but I just don't want to MAKE him do something (or eat something) he doesn't want to, so I keep my mouth shut and then get pissed. Then a fight ensues and it spoils our day/night, sex life, vacation, or whatever is going on. I'm taking 90% of the blame for this particular cause for problems. See, now that I have actually written it down, I must deal with it! This is what I like about this blog!
On the sex side, here's a new one. During our trip when we arrived in a new city and a new hotel I said, "lets check in, then hit this place, then eat here and then come back and soak in the hot tub." He says, "How about if we check in, have some sex and then do all that?" I was quite shocked and, get this, NOT in the mood! I felt bummed but at the same time, I felt really achy and wiped out so I told him, "I really want to have sex, but not right now. Maybe after the hot tub."
Unfortunately, we had a tiff that night that was pretty crappy and the sex thing didn't happen. Luckly, though, we made up and had sex in the morning! That is a great way to start the day!
Well, we both worked all day today and are sore and tired, so there won't be any sex tonight. We're going to gel out in front of the tube and watch the Survivor finale. Nighty-night!
"Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..."
"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me."
The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE."
"I don't know, doc, she's awfully cold..."
"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"
"Um, okay."
The guy expresses gratitude and leaves for home, where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. The man hastily pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill.
And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then inspiration strikes, he drops one pill into his own coffee.
His wife returns with the shortcake and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look comes over her. In a near-whisper and a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I...need...a man"
His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me...too..."
~~~
Welpers, I'm back. We had a nice time, mostly. We saw a lot of California sights, including San Francisco and LOTS of coastline! We even had sex a couple of times! I learned some more things about myself, though. We had a couple of fights and I realized during introspection that I cause these fights because I'm retarded. I am constantly NOT saying what I want and then getting mad because I don't get what I want. A good example is not saying, "I want to eat HERE, not fast food, this morning". Instead, I go along and then get upset. I don't know why I do this. I make decisions all the time and for the most part he's cool with what I want, but I just don't want to MAKE him do something (or eat something) he doesn't want to, so I keep my mouth shut and then get pissed. Then a fight ensues and it spoils our day/night, sex life, vacation, or whatever is going on. I'm taking 90% of the blame for this particular cause for problems. See, now that I have actually written it down, I must deal with it! This is what I like about this blog!
On the sex side, here's a new one. During our trip when we arrived in a new city and a new hotel I said, "lets check in, then hit this place, then eat here and then come back and soak in the hot tub." He says, "How about if we check in, have some sex and then do all that?" I was quite shocked and, get this, NOT in the mood! I felt bummed but at the same time, I felt really achy and wiped out so I told him, "I really want to have sex, but not right now. Maybe after the hot tub."
Unfortunately, we had a tiff that night that was pretty crappy and the sex thing didn't happen. Luckly, though, we made up and had sex in the morning! That is a great way to start the day!
Well, we both worked all day today and are sore and tired, so there won't be any sex tonight. We're going to gel out in front of the tube and watch the Survivor finale. Nighty-night!
posted by Married Girl at 7:43 PM
7 Comments:
love the joke
Glad to see you're back!! : )
I do the same thing. It's a woman thing, I think. (About the decision making.) But yay for sex! : )
Welcome back! :)
Finally, a woman who realizes that "she" is the problem when it comes to fights. Not saying that all women do that, but I'm sure plenty of them read what you wrote and then remembered a time that they did the same thing.
a phrase like "gel out in front of the tube" reminds me that we may all speak English and be connected by the magical world wide web, but my god, were different!
Glad you had nice morning sex.
Be careful when turning your husband down... Most men would never admit it, but it's a HUGE blow to the ego! It happened to me in my marriage a few times and had a long lasting effect.
That's right.
I have that same problem with my husband (the going along with whatever he wants to do instead of speaking my mind and then getting pissed about it later which leads to a major blow-up thing). Itr must be a woman thing.
And, ahhhh, morning sex is so lovely.
~ Aimee
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