Are We Moving Forward?
As I mentioned when I quickly dashed off my post on Tuesday, we had good sex! Yea! After spedning about an hour cuddling in front of the tube, we gradually began with the roaming hands and some kissing and I realized that he was actually going to make this happen! We were in the living room and on the couch. I was totally turned on and wet, which hasn't been the norm for a while. We finally were so worked up that we had sex and for the first time in a LONG time, I actually got off during intercourse!
See, when we first got together, we only saw each other on weekends due to our jobs and proximity of our homes. When we got together we were totally hot for each other and would have sex several times during the weekend. There was rarely much in the way of foreplay and our sex sessions were over pretty quickly, with both of us coming pretty fast. At first that was cool, but in time I began to realize that this was the only kind of sex he knew and that I was obviously going to have to teach him about long, slow lovemaking.
Of course, right about this time, he started being less excited and interested in sex and we'd have sex once per weekend. I was a little bummed, but it was summertime and we were in an uncomfortable environment. I was confident that when we moved in together in a couple of months, our sex life would be outstanding. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. He just did not have the interest that I did. I loved this guy and was totally hot for him. When I saw him I'd get wet and I wanted him all the time. I would have fucked him every night if he wanted! Over time, though, after being rejected in my "affections", that desire level dropped and pretty much has continued dropping since then. Don't get me wrong. Obviously, you can tell I WANT sex. The deal is that my body just does not have the same automatic response that it once did and, frankly, I want it back.
This is why I rarely have an orgasm during actual intercourse. Luckily, my husband loves me and actually cares whether or not I orgasm; He usually gets me off with his hand prior to fucking me to his orgasm, but I don't want to always have to get off via hand. I want the full enjoyment and awesome experience of having him inside me when I cum. So, for this to happen on Tuesday was just fully awesome.
I WANT to see him and get wet. I WANT to push him down and cover him in kisses and get down and dirty with him. But, I've become so afraid of being rejected that I don't. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to bring up both the frequency and passion level of our sex life. I can't help but hope that this might be a step towards it, but then again, I also fear it's just a spike and doesn't mean change is a'comin', but rather that he felt required to make an effort. I definitely hope that the positive experience will trigger something in ME to help me start to recapture that automatic response that used to always be in me, but now has waned. Time will tell.
Hopefully, I can actually post this if Blogger ever comes back online. There is so much more to tell, but I gotta let it out in little pieces, so until next time - Cross your fingers that I get more sex this weekend!!!
See, when we first got together, we only saw each other on weekends due to our jobs and proximity of our homes. When we got together we were totally hot for each other and would have sex several times during the weekend. There was rarely much in the way of foreplay and our sex sessions were over pretty quickly, with both of us coming pretty fast. At first that was cool, but in time I began to realize that this was the only kind of sex he knew and that I was obviously going to have to teach him about long, slow lovemaking.
Of course, right about this time, he started being less excited and interested in sex and we'd have sex once per weekend. I was a little bummed, but it was summertime and we were in an uncomfortable environment. I was confident that when we moved in together in a couple of months, our sex life would be outstanding. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. He just did not have the interest that I did. I loved this guy and was totally hot for him. When I saw him I'd get wet and I wanted him all the time. I would have fucked him every night if he wanted! Over time, though, after being rejected in my "affections", that desire level dropped and pretty much has continued dropping since then. Don't get me wrong. Obviously, you can tell I WANT sex. The deal is that my body just does not have the same automatic response that it once did and, frankly, I want it back.
This is why I rarely have an orgasm during actual intercourse. Luckily, my husband loves me and actually cares whether or not I orgasm; He usually gets me off with his hand prior to fucking me to his orgasm, but I don't want to always have to get off via hand. I want the full enjoyment and awesome experience of having him inside me when I cum. So, for this to happen on Tuesday was just fully awesome.
I WANT to see him and get wet. I WANT to push him down and cover him in kisses and get down and dirty with him. But, I've become so afraid of being rejected that I don't. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to bring up both the frequency and passion level of our sex life. I can't help but hope that this might be a step towards it, but then again, I also fear it's just a spike and doesn't mean change is a'comin', but rather that he felt required to make an effort. I definitely hope that the positive experience will trigger something in ME to help me start to recapture that automatic response that used to always be in me, but now has waned. Time will tell.
Hopefully, I can actually post this if Blogger ever comes back online. There is so much more to tell, but I gotta let it out in little pieces, so until next time - Cross your fingers that I get more sex this weekend!!!
posted by Married Girl at 9:52 AM
1 Comments:
Hey girl... I know what not to do! In retrospect. I have been married for almost 11 years. The first year was full of up against the wall action, but shortly after our first anniversary, life happened. The Responsibility of keeping the finances in order was a huge stressor and my husband lost a lot of his sexual desire. I took it personal. But, it wasn't me. I cried "don't you want me?" We once went 8 months without sex. I was a basket case. I never cheated , But I was a complete wreck. I tried to talk to him about it. I even asked him if he needed Viagra. I worried day and night about sex or lack of. I obsessed over it. I should have tried not to focus on sex, but rather on building close intimacies through fun outings, conversations, joking around and Showing him how cool I was. Instead I showed him a whiney bitch in heat. Not a pretty picture.
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